Dear Younger Me…

Advice to the David I Was, From the David I Am

This week, I found an old pic that got me thinking of my younger self – that 13-year-old guy in West Clare, doing his best to wheel barrows of compost through a landscaping yard, absolutely hopeless at it but eager to earn his own money. I wasn’t built for heavy lifting (manual labour was not my calling), but I’ll never forget how proud I felt being trusted with a job and a wage. Thankfully, my boss had the grace to shift me to the garden centre instead of letting me go and honestly, he should’ve sacked me! But he didn’t. He saw something different in me. And that kindness stayed with me.

If I could sit down with that teenager today, or even the 22-year-old version of me managing a sales team of 20 for the first time, I’d have a few things to say.

First, I’d tell him:
You don’t need to be liked to be respected.
Back then, I thought being liked equalled being a good leader. I worked so hard to be everyone’s friend that I sometimes lost sight of what the role really needed; clarity, objectivity, and the ability to make tough decisions without letting emotion cloud them. My instincts were to protect and support my team, but I wish I’d known that didn’t mean I had to carry everything emotionally, too.

I’d also tell him that authenticity is your superpower.
For years, I toned down who I was. Too loud, too camp, too Irish, too Gay. I was told to “tone it down” more times than I can count. And for a while, I tried. I made myself smaller in rooms that didn’t deserve to hold my silence. But what I’ve learned, what I now know to be true, is that those traits I was told to mute are exactly what makes me, me. And they’re why I connect so deeply with people now. If a client wouldn’t work with me because of who I am, I now know I’d rather lose the business than lose myself.

Running Hawthorne-Finch Talent Solutions has been the biggest personal and professional leap I’ve ever taken. And when I launched it, I was filled with doubt, even with years of experience. My confidence had taken knocks over the years, and while people saw me as capable, I didn’t always see it in myself. But that little voice that wanted to set up a business back in school? He never fully went away. I’m so glad I listened to him (and to Lee).

These days, I think differently about what success means.
It’s not the job title or the salary (though I do like money to pay for my holidays). It’s the freedom to build something that reflects my values, supports the people I care about, and creates space for others to thrive. Whether it’s candidates, clients, or my team, I get to make a difference. And that’s the real reward.

I’d also tell my younger self this:
Take the day off.
Read the book.
Say no when you’re exhausted.
It’s not selfish to protect your energy – it’s smart. I used to believe being the last one online meant I was doing a good job. But the real strength is knowing when to switch off. Now, when we travel, Lee goes for a run and I sit with a book and a large glass of wine, guilt-free. And I’ve built our business with wellbeing in mind finishing at 4pm, flex days, space to breathe. Because the best teams don’t just work hard they recover well, too.

And finally, I’d say this:
You will never be everyone’s cup of tea. And that’s a blessing.
Some people like Sauvignon Blanc. Others like Merlot. You don’t have to be both. Just be you. Be proud. And back yourself the way you back everyone else.

You’ve got this.
You always did.
You just needed time to believe it.